First J and A called, asked for my help. I sounded calm but after i ended the call i started to panic. Fear came into my heart as i pondered over the situation. Called mel firsthand but she didn't pick up the phone immediatedly. Then God said in that still, small voice of His, "Why are you so afraid, o you of little faith? If I am for you, who can be against you?" And i thought, true. Then ysd's congre bout David and Goliath came to mind. It offered so much comfort. I was just like David, a tiny shepherd boy with my little wooden sling, but i'd do all i could to protect my sheep from the humongous giant, even if i were scared. And the peace of God that transcends all understanding filled me and chased away all my fear.

Thank God, He protected us all. Thank you so much Elle and Jeff for going down with me, really appreciate it. Watched "Premonition", it was...not bad. Aft tt we went to the washroom and...it was really freaky. I don't know how to explain it, just that both Elle and i felt really weird. Aft we came out we kept saying how uneasy we felt inside, she was talking about the closed toilet door with noone inside and i was like, "huh? the middle cubicle? it was open what!" We concluded...we don't want to know. Lol.

On the way back for tuition, i suddenly felt v weird...somehow i started worrying for my parents, my dad esp. My mom'd called when i was in the theatre but didn't answer when i called back repeatedly. I suddenly remembered the time when my dad was hospitalised, i felt it before i knew it. And i was so afraid it'd happen again. It's like the world stood still and i was there in the train but i wasn't. I just prayed and prayed till i felt the peace. Thank God, my mom finally called back and said he's fine.

At tuition, my tuition kid Linn was stressed. Her Psle is coming in a week's time. I mean, she's usually smiley and all. We usually have fun during tuition, it's always light-hearted with lots of laughter. But today her stress was emanating and i was worried. I gave her the chocs i bought for her but it didn't work. So i prayed, desperately trying to find a way to ease her stress. And, thank God for all the hours of game-playing in NUS, i remembered Black Magic, Aunt Anne, Johnny Johnny Do you get it? (LOL Mike), Leaf falling falling etc and managed to make her laugh again. Saw the light coming back into her eyes and heaved a sigh of relief.

On my way home i was reflecting upon today's events. Thinking bout J, A and Linn, and my reactions towards them. And suddenly i understood...love. My mom, sis and Mel have always protected me, been there for me. I think they are the ppl i'd always count on, no matter what the circumstances are.

I remember once i was in a bad bad mood. My sis was waiting for me to get out of the house together. I didn't ask her to wait. I wanted to take my time, slam my things around. But she just sat there and waited, smiling. It irked me. Then she sat on my bear, and i snapped at her. Her smile faded and she left the house, foul face and all, muttering under her breath. Fine. I didn't care. Until...i shut my front door and...couldn't find my keys. I just couldn't find them. I slammed my umbrella in fury, the one i loved because my dad bought it for me, and the handle fell loose. That was it. I broke down and cried. I was helpless, i'd to go to school, trapped outside my house, no key to lock it and leave or go in, fav brolly spoilt, bad bad mood. I did the only thing i could. I called my fuming sis. She came back, helped me find my keys (they were in my bag afterall), gave me a hug and drove me to school. Another time, it was the worst day of my life, she took one look at me sobbing on the kitchen floor, hugged me and cried with me, then called to take leave, and spent the day watching dvds, drinking wine and crying with me. So many times she protected me like tt, unconditionally. My mom, too, from pri sch when i called her and cried cos my classmates called me 'bai shu zhen', and even till now she'd tell me, "Tell me if anyone bullies u, i'd protect u no matter what." And mel too. Every time i'm faced with a situation i dunno how to handle, i'd call her and she'd be there, comforting me, telling me what to do. Esp the time when my dad was hospitalized recently. Anyways, i was always the protected. Never the protector. Until now.

Now, i understand the maternal love they gave to me. Because i now feel it for these girls. Love that isn't a choice, but instinct. Instinct that makes you put yourself between danger and your child without thinking. And it's so amazing.

Anyway, i've been sick for...6 days. Flu and sore throat and sometimes headache and nauseousness, loss of appetite. It's just not normal. I've tried everything-prayer, sleep, water, even the dreaded panadol i fear. Please. Pray. For. Me. Thanks. =)