That day I saw a lil Malay boy fall down at the playground. My first instinct was to run over and help him up, but a lil voice in me told me not to. The lil voice said, “He will get up by himself”. And he did. I looked around, and there was his father, around 3 metres away, waiting for him to come follow him home. You know when lil kids fall, there’s always a paused moment where everyone holds their breath and wonders if he/she is gonna break down and cry? I always encountered that at Touchkidz last time. But more often than not, despite popular belief, the kids usually pause for a moment, pick themselves up, and continue running around laughing.

It reminded me of a cultural upbringing I’ve noticed before. Caucasians, Indonesias, Malays, they all usually bring up their kids this way. They don’t blink an eye when their kids run astray, and goes around doing the things that kids do. But Singaporean parents are different. They are overprotective. Every lil thing their kids touch, they’d hit their hands and scream at them. Every time they fall down, they’d either fuss or shout. Every lil thing they need, it’s prepared for them, even in the schools. It’s no wonder so many Singaporean kids grow up not knowing how to handle failures, and grazes on the knee.

Another day I heard my dad tell my mom, I can do it with you, but if I do, the next time when u hafta do it alone, u won’t know how. So u’ve gotta try it by yourself. And I thought, wow. This is the kind of father and husband i'd want. And this is the love that God gives. He stands aside, behind a wall even, so that u don't know He's there. But He's near, and He watches u when u fall. His heart aches when u hurt urself, and He yearns to pick u up and comfort you with soothing words and tender strokes. But sometimes He doesn't. He longed to relieve Jesus of His pain at the Cross, when His beloved Son cried out to Him in desperation and helplessness...

Jesus: "Eloi, Eloi, lama sabachthani?"- "My God, my God, why have you forsaken me?"

God: "My precious Son, I hear them screaming, i'm watching the face of the Enemy beaming. But soon i will clothe u in robes of my Own. Jesus this hurts Me much more than u know. But this dark hour I must do nothing...I've heard your unbearable cry..."

It cost Him to stand by and do nothing, when He could easily have waved a finger and destroyed all the soldiers who were crucifying Jesus. But He did it nevertheless, for Jesus's sake, for the sake of all of us. That is love. To me, that is a greater love than one which holds on too tightly...in social work the first step is to build the client's trust in ourselves, where we are the Bridge, or Connector to a better way of life. But our work is only considered 'complete' when our clients are empowered. When they no longer depend on us, but have developed the means to live right by themselves.

"Give not a fish, but the ability to fish."