So the hope and excitement that were built up over the week were burst in that killjoy moment when i received the phone call. Tears that i havent shed for awhile streamed down my face before i even realised my face was wet.

"No good thing will He withhold from those who walk uprightly."

I kept thinking to myself as i memorized and meditated over Psalm 84 in the past week, it'd be such a comforting verse if it went, "No good thing will He withhold from...those who believe in Him." But no, the criteria was 'to walk uprightly'. So i've been wondering, if i'm eligible for this very attractive blessing that was being offered. How can anyone but Lord Jesus claim to 'walk uprightly'? For all have sinned and fallen short of the glory of God. But as Mel answered just now, it is the heart of wanting to walk right with God that He sees, and i was thinking, God wouldn't have put that verse there if it doesn't apply to anyone but Himself. So perhaps i do qualify, afterall. Hurray!

The devil knows very well my deepest desire, and with the Hand of God working powerfully in my family now he is trying all means and ways to sabotage His plans. But it doesn't matter. Cos it will not work. It is a beginning, not the end. It is, one step closer each time. And it will only prompt me to pray more, to break through to the Third Heaven.

I realised recently i do have some negative thoughts. Somehow subconsciously when all is going well i'd have a feeling that something bad will happen, to balance it out. In a sense i think it's good to have a balance of both in life, for "If I'm too full, I might get independent, saying, 'God? Who needs him?' If I'm poor, I might steal and dishonor the name of my God."-Prov 30:9. I guess it's because i no longer fear the low times in life. I think, everything happens for a reason. Like what they always say, "Life is like a rollercoaster". I've learnt to relish both the high and low parts, for without the latter i would not have become who i am today. It is the moulding that make me wiser, the tears and pain that make me stronger, the tests and trials that build the depth of my faith.

Yet this negative thought, if not removed, may result in a self-fulfilling prophesy that is unneccessary. It all begins in the mind. If you believe, that's half the battle won. I will choose not to lose hope in Him who has never failed me, in every area of my life. For He will not withhold any good thing from me. =)

Praise the Lord!

"There can be miracles...when you believe. Though hope is frail, it's hard to kill."