Rediscovering Eden
Who am I, that the Lord of all the earth
Would care to know my name
Would care to feel my hurt
Who am I, that the bright and morning Star
Would choose to light the way
For my ever wandering heart
Not because of who I am
But because of what You've done
Not because of what I've done
But because of who You are
I am a flower quickly fading
Here today and gone tomorrow
A wave tossed in the ocean
A vapor in the wind
Still You hear me when I'm calling
Lord, You catch me when I'm falling
And You've told me who I am
I am Yours, I am Yours
Who Am I, that the eyes that see my sin
Would look on me with love
and watch me rise again
Who Am I, that the voice that calmed the sea
Would call out through the rain
And calm the storm in me
whom shall i fear
whom shall i fear
i am yours
Tidings
Saturday, 22 November 2008
The little girl's fears
On the way home i suddenly realised why i wanted to leave-not just cos i need to study and all that, but cos i wanted to be alone. It's not that i don't enjoy everyone's company-i really enjoyed myself a lot today. Thank u Charmaine! Haha hope you enjoyed yr birthday. =) Nevertheless, i think i really haven't had the time to just reflect upon the things i need to reflect upon, and talk to God about them.
And while i was thinking about all my worries and fears, God showed me that i've been feeling very fearful about a lot of things. Fear that i'm not a good enough cell leader, student, daughter, sister, friend, GB officer. Fear that i've lost my self-control, that i would not do well in my studies and thus disgrace God. Fear that i've lost my intimacy with God, and the strength of my faith. Fear that i would not see my family and friends in Heaven. Fear of a lot of things. So much so that i've been having nightmares almost every night.
So i asked God, "How?" And lovingly He turned me to this verse...
"There is no fear in love; but perfect love casts out fear, because fear involves torment. But he who fears has not been made perfect in love." -1 John 4:18
I have not been made perfect in love. This does not mean that i was never perfect in love, but that i need to be reminded again of God's unconditional love for me. I have again started carrying the burdens Lucado talks about. The burden of a lesser God, burden of fear, anxiety and all that. But God says:
"Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God." -Philippians 4:6
Indeed, Father, You are a loving and gracious Daddy. Even when i look upon all my faults, the things i can do better, You look at my strengths, and amazingly, as You've spoken to me through Mel's bday card for me, that truly, Your delight is upon me. What did i ever do to deserve such love? I am nothing without You, God. O God, my Lord, help me to live a life worthy of Your death.
"Beloved, let us love one another, for love is of God; and everyone who loves is born of God and knows God. He who does not love does not know God, for God is love."
-1 John 4:7-8
Help me to love the people around me, like how You love me Lord. Help me to constantly look beyond my own needs to see the needs of others above my own.
I'm sorry if i hurt you...i really never had that intention. Be happy.
Kaelyn
