Watched "Passion of the Christ" again today, for the 4th time. You know, i always fear the day when i watch this show with apathy, so i've been procrastinating.

But thank God, each time i am captivated by the powerful vivid portrayal of the gospel. This time, i began to understand why Pastor Khong always gets so emotional and teary when he talks about the Garden of Gethsemane. It is where many significant events occur.

Where Jesus went to pray intensely by himself.
Where Satan came to taunt and mock and tempt him.
Where He was immensely terrified and stressed.
Where He sweat blood.
Where He prayed for His Father to remove this cup from Him if it's possible.
Where He eventually overcame the devil and said, "You will be done, and not mine.
Where the soldiers came immediately after that prayer to seize Him.

It struck me how terrified and distressed He looked, to the point where even His disciples were shocked. The God who created the Universe, humbled Himself to take the form and limitations of a lowly human being, faced with the greatest crossroad of His life. Can Jesus, one man, save the entire world from their sins? SHOULD He? Was it worth it? The price was impossibly high, and He knew it. He trembled and shook with fear just thinking about it. Yet after that sacred prayer, "Your will be done, Abba, and not mine", it seemed a transcendental peace had taken over, and from the seizing to the scourging to the crucification, though it was excruciating, He did not hesitate or waver in His decision, He did not look frightened. Because He had made up His mind.

Halfway through the scourging, i was trembling myself and having trouble breathing, but i wasn't crying. It struck me then, that if one did not know Jesus, then this show would just be a gory show of an innocent man being abused and tortured by crazy and evil people. You'd walk away thinking, "Heyy, this is a nice guy, a saint maybe, willing to suffer and die for what he believes in." But that's it. You'd forget about it the next day.

What made me start crying uncontrollably was when i suddenly remembered WHY He was doing all these. FOR ME. FOR ME. The little girl trembling by her father's side. Every chastisement He took, He grit His teeth and endured the searing pain, because He took each whip thinking of me.

It's mindblowing how we can be so easily touched by little displays of affection, sugar-coated words and promises by humans who so often fail us, but fail to recognise daily what this Man did for us. I mean, can u imagine the person u're going to marry do what Jesus did for u? Or your mother? Your best friend? I don't know if i'd ever meet someone who'd do the same for me. Or someone whom i'd do the same for. Love displayed by words is cheap, but Jesus displayed the true meaning of love, untainted, pure, and powerful, without the need of a single utterance, when He went through the chastisement, betrayal, shame, rejection, crucification for us.

Jesus, O Jesus, You didn't have to go through all that. You had a choice. Yet at Your crossroad You chose me. Me, who didn't even know you then. You loved me before i realised Your existence. How can my life ever be the same again?

I went for a night jog after watching the show...usually i wouldn't dare to jog at night cos it's dangerous (got foreign workers nearby), and the last time i did i fell down cos it was too dark and i wasn't wearing contacts. But tonight i went with a peace that transcended my understanding. I felt this unexplainable calm in my heart as i jogged past the orange streetlights thinking of Jesus. He had gone through the worst circumstances ever. What was there to fear in this life, other than God Himself? Even if Satan were to stare me in the face like in the movie, so what? He has no hold over me, never will. Because my God is greater, much much greater.

Thank You for the Cross

Thank you for the cross, the mighty cross
That God himself should die for such as us
And everyday we’re changed
Into your image more and more
Yes, by the cross we’ve truly been transformed

And we’re so amazed and we give you praise
That you would save us at such a cost
And we’re so amazed and we give you praise
For the power of the cross
For the power of the cross

(Words and Music by Mark Altrogge)