Was feeling very down. I wanted to blog. But i ended up reading my previous entries. And they spoke to me...Imagine that, the Jennifer of a few years ago comforting the one now. Haha. Some random extracts that spoke to me...

"I love being a Connector. In the past, even recently, i was wondering to myself, how can Mel, or Pastor Debra be counselling ppl like every minute, one after another? Doesn't it get tiring? Last time, i would feel tired of listening to friends' troubles. But now, when i go through a marathon of these like i so often see Mel go through, i no longer feel tired or burdened. I feel privilleged, tt i'm able to lend a listening ear to the people i care about. And i no longer carry their loads, cos i know i can't, but i simply lift them up to God in prayer. Cos i can only be tt listening ear, but only God can truly help them. So i simply connect them with God. It is such an honour to be a Connector. =)"
Can't believe this is my job now.

"Pastor Deb's words tt day was really an insight unto my soul. She said tt chores are not necessarily bad, though they are necessary. She said, the people who do chores are usually mothers, and tt we are actually growing when we find ourselves performing chores, and even to give thanks for tt privilege. How true it is, noone likes to do laundry all the time, to wash dishes and iron clothes when so many alternatives to spend one's time invites. But it has been a tradition passed through many tunnels of time, tt mothers perform chores for the family, yes and fathers too, in their own way, and noone else can replace the respective roles each occupies. They might not like the mundane nature of their jobs, or the often thankless nature, they might even loathe it, but they do it anyway. What for? They don't have to. It's not illegal to not do chores. But they do it for love. And indeed, the only motivation there can be, to undertake chores day after day, year after year, can only be love. For there is no greater power in the universe."
Necessary evils. Tell me about it.

"I rem during the June Egg-camp Grace told me, "I like your personality. You're just very yourself, like you don't care what ppl think of you. I wish i could be like tt." It really touched me, i didn't even know i was like tt."
Lol i didnt know u thought that about me! Or rather i forgot haha.

"The glory of a heart fully alive...

These are the things that my heart loves:
.
1. Sight and sound of waves at the beach.
2. Falling leaves dancing in the wind.
3. Mighty thunderstorms that pierce through the skies and leave me in awe.
4. Fields of flowers (how i long to finally see the real thing one day).
5. Being free (being unrestrained, carefree, not regarding what ppl think).
6. Being loved (gestures of love that are unexpected and touch my heart).
7. Being in a foreign place (the wonder, the amazement during a holiday to another country).
8. Being home. (the feeling of belongingness, of security, comfort and love).
9. Playing with animals.
10. Playing with babies/toddlers.
11. The mysterious morning mist in the forest.
12. Watching the rain water the thirsty earth.
13. Helping people. Listening to them, helping them unload their troubles.
14. Worshipping God, being in His glorious presence.
15. The feeling of satisfaction after accomplishing something. E.g. work, jog, cleanup
16. The feeling of being in love. (think love giggles, sparkle in eyes, leap in your steps, rose-coloured lenses).
17. Romance.
18. Recovering after a fall. (what doesn't kill you only makes you stronger).
19. Listening to beautiful music.
20. Having heart-to-heart talks.
21. Writing, and reading.
22. Designing Jennie homemade cards.
23. A hot shower at the end of a long day.
24. Refreshing thrist-quenching water after a good long strenous exercise.
25. Playing like a child. (E.g. playground episode in East Coast)
26. Yummylicious food.
27. Hugs.
28. Blessing someone without that person's knowledge (an angel act).
29. Seeing ppl come back to God/get to know God.
30. Seeing children worship God.
31. Rainbows.
32. The thrill of doing spontaneous, crazy fun things.
33. The excitement of knowing that God is using me mightily.
.
If these are the things that make my heart alive...
I think i'd need more of the above to come alive once again."
I agree.

"Service today was beautiful. Worship was amazing, and so was the Word, both of which touched my heart deeply. I used to cry during church cos i'm reminded of my own sorrows, but now i cry simply because i feel so blessed and loved by God."
God You are good. =)

"Even my mother has started the "When are u going to get a boyfriend?" tirade. It's kinda amusing. And here is my reply, quoted from Tommy Tenny's "Finding Favor with the King":

"Esther, why don't you talk to any of those other young men?"

"Because i don't have time for lower lovers-I'm saving myself for the King!"

I'm falling in love with my King all over again. It's so amazing, His love for me. I know no man can ever match up to Him. Jesus, how could i live without You? How would i survive, without Your love, without Your touch? You're the One that heals me, that captures my heart..and sets me free.

In His time, I know He will make all things beautiful. I pray for the man who would become my husband frequently, and I am in no hurry. All i pray is that he would have the same intimate relationship with my King, that he would be serving Him faithfully in this time of singlehood. There is nothing more attractive to me, than a man busy serving God, a man passionately taking care of His sheep.

As for 'those other young men', i'm just not interested."
My stand hasn't changed. =)

"Can Life then be simple, like the picture above? Yes. I have learnt, through the 20.5 years that i have lived, that Life can be simple. Life is only complicated when we have yet to grasp what Life is about, what is important in this Life. Life is complicated when you live only for yourself, when you choose to entertain irrelevant distractions. I have found God. And through Him, i have found my purpose in Life. Saved 4 times over, or more, my life is now not my own, but His alone.

What is Life all about? In sum, i would say it is about Love, Contentment, Pain, Choices and Learning. So many of us forget to live in this busy busy world, choosing simply to exist. May we remember to live, to enjoy this gift from above. May we choose to live a meaningful life, not just to fulfill the basic requirements and move on, but to go out there and do extraordinary things. From little acts of kindness to great acts of transformation, we can make a difference."
Amen! There is joy in a simple life.

I realised i learnt a lot from books. These authors, though i may not know them personally, have been my mentors along with many others in my life. Thank you Max, John, Ps Colton, and many others.

I have decided to commit myself to write more. It's really been a long time. I can't fathom where i found the time in the past to blog so much, but i think...its therapeutic. I will try. =)